Going public, going solo

As those happy couples en route to the divorce court via Hello magazine have discovered, there's nothing like going public to kill a relationship. I write home at the end of last year to tell everyone Sam and I have turned a corner, four weeks later we've turned another one separately. I agonise about admitting to rediscovering sausage, and no sooner do I do it and the taste turns sour.

So the boy and I have called it a day, actually truth be told he decided as I wrote last time not to fight his family and I decided if they're going to determine his life for him then I shouldn't attempt to fight either. I am however now the queen of civilised break ups with two very gentle endings under my belt in the first half of this year. I am not sure it is a title anyone would envy but it's better than being the princess of messy finales I suppose.

I am more gutted for Ngurah than for myself, I think to him I represented a brave new world of freedom and choices he has had to turn his back on, for me he represented a set of tough choices that there is some relief in not pursuing, although I have to say that had he been more determined to forge his own path even if the route went through the Balinese jungle, I would have done it with him.

I intend to pause for a while to reflect on the roundabout that has been 05, plans and new romances can wait for a while. Unless anyone has the telephone number of Rood Van Nilstroy?

Julie