Going Solo

Note to self - in future don't write home with news of how fabulous your relationship is - it could tempt fate.

After five mostly fabulous years Sam and I have decided to part company, for the moment at least. We had a chat yesterday morning and concluded that we both had areas if our life we needed space to work on, and the relationship was impeding that. We had some long running issues that were not getting resolved and having worked very hard to come to a different conclusion, decided five months in a campervan together may not be such a good idea after all.
I have flown to Perth, she is making her way back to Sydney in the van with the puppies after touring the great ocean road and maybe hanging out in Melbourne for a spell.

It was very amicable, very sad, very grown up. There is no one else involved, we just ran out of steam to keep fighting to realise our potential. We have tremendous admiration and respect for each other and that's going nowhere. I moved pretty quickly to avoid a long and distressing farewell, and we had a wonderful last supper with much more laughter than could be expected given the melancholy nature of the moment.

I am not sure of my plans, I will explore Perth, am going to swim with dolphins this week, relax in the sunshine and not make any major decisions until the emotions are stable. First thoughts are that I may settle in Perth for a while and write my novel, then head up to Broome and the Northern Territory when the weather cools down in March / April. I am contemplating a return to the UK in British summer but am popping that decision in the "later" bag.

The silver linings are plentiful, the creative juices are roaring and I have in 24 hours devised a plot and started work on my novel. (There is I find nothing like a good dose of sadness to get the mind focused and empathy flowing). It has truly been a mutual decision that we have both brought into and therefore whilst I am grieving for the end of a era, I am not suffering the pain of rejection. I get to travel how I would have liked, namely with a few more home comforts and access to showers than a campervan would have afforded. I am genuinely excited about the luxurious self-indulgence of having only me to consider. Add to which teh fact I am saner and thinner than at any other time, and that if I can get my hand out of the hotel cookie jar the latter should be exacerbated by the break, it's not all bad by a long shot.

I am contemplating trying my hand at stand up and writing a one woman show about my experiences down under, there's much milage I think in my experiences to date. Sam and I left Sydney where we made a drag caberaret venue our local and felt underdressed without chandeliers hanging from each earlobe, to arrive in rural Tasmania where suddenly everyone kept referring to Sam as my husband.
The urban traveller I am sure has some milage, you could have said gypsy wandering down main streets out back with a lamp laden helmet for example, and play with the country concept of braun, being impeded by stilettos and fur stoles... as you can see it's very much work in progress that needs developing but as the creative juices are roaring, shouldn't take too long.

For now, I am esconced in a fancy pants hotel for one night - I decided after three weeks of salivating over public toilets that had tepid showers where clothes within a five mile radius got soaked, after brushing my teeth at a sink with our washing up in, after pulling out a couple of planks to make a bed each night, that nothing less than five star was in order for my first night of singledom. Wary of my budget it's an abboration, but for now I am spa-bathing in with amplomb. My lovely ex has called the hotel and booked me a massage so I'm off now to get pampered.
More later,
vats of adoration and thanks for getting this far

Julie x